


The Five Times Dipper Was Mistaken for a Lumberjack And The One Time It Was Accurate

by AvidReader3019



Series: Lumberjack Dipper Ramblings [1]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Adorable, Dipper Pines Being An Idiot, Fluff and Humor, I'm making that a tag now fight me, Supportive Mabel Pines, The Power Of Mabel, This is the reason I was born, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, lumberjack Dipper
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:42:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27560026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvidReader3019/pseuds/AvidReader3019
Summary: Dipper as a Lumberjack, he doesn't even know and is adorably confused by all the requests he's getting about firewood and hardware advice.
Series: Lumberjack Dipper Ramblings [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2014480
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17
Collections: Over The Gravity Falls





	The Five Times Dipper Was Mistaken for a Lumberjack And The One Time It Was Accurate

**Author's Note:**

> Lumberjack Dipper I just it's basically canon right? He chops wood on the show and he hunts monsters and would totally be like living in the woods, chopping down trees, exiting in nature and studying monsters, so WHY IS THERE NO FIC??? I HAVE A DIVINE MISSION TO CORRECT THESE WRONGS AND SO HELP ME I WILL FLOOD AO3 WITH LUMBERJACK DIP CONTENT. THIS IS NOT A THREAT IT IS A PROMISE.

Dipper’s been so excited for _weeks_. Mabel is finally coming to visit him and they’re gonna do nothing but laugh and watch movies and eat a bunch of candy aaaand he has to get everything in place. 

He grew out of the absolute wreck he used to be, somewhat, he’s still absentminded of course, forgets things that don’t directly relate to whatever he’s hyperfocusing on, but all-in-all everything is fairly in order. He’s got pizza and snacks and they shouldn’t have to leave for even a _second_ minus the investigations he has planned. The only thing is it’s cold and he realizes he’s practically shivering. It’s the middle of winter in the woods, so it's not like this is uncommon, but he goes over to the fireplace and-- _oh no._ He usually has a huge pile of firewood laying there, especially this time of year, but in all his excitement he’d forgotten and Mabel is gonna be here in like a couple hours at most, maybe an hour.

Dipper rushes outside, throwing on whatever jacket thing was laying on a chair _he said ‘fairly’ in order, okay?_ He grabs the axe from where it’s resting on the stump, shoving it into the belt sheath, and trudges into the forest. It doesn’t take long to find one that’s already fallen, perfect to cut into smaller pieces for the fire. He walks over to the end where the log meets the multitude of branches and he unclips the axe from his belt. It only takes a few hits to leave him with a sizable log, but one he can now actually carry. He strides over to the middle, twirling the axe back into its hold as he goes, and bends down to wrap his arms around it. He makes sure to take it slowly until he can get it up on his shoulder, it’s far from the heaviest log he’s had to drag back, he doesn’t actually have to drag this one for one thing: he got a little ambitious one time, and he finds a sort of comfort in the familiar weight pressing down on his body. 

He makes it back with relative ease and drops the log next to the stump with a loud _thud_ and gets to work cutting the wood into smaller sections. He raises the axe above his head when he strikes hoping for less, more-powerful cuts to get done in as little time as possible. When he’s left with a few roughly one-foot-long cylinders of wood, he places them on the stump one at a time and slices right down the middle. He’s breathing heavily and sweating and doesn't even notice he isn’t alone until he shoves the axe back down and pauses to catch his breath.

Mabel practically tackles him as soon as the weapon leaves his hands, but he doesn’t fall down like normal. It takes him a moment to realize it’s her, but once he does he relaxes into the hug. “I thought you said you were a couple hours out?”

“I _was_ , but now I’m here!!” She gasps and steps backward. “Are you not excited to see me!? Wow, and to think I brought exotic snacks.”

“I was just confused, I thought I had more time, I'm almost done… Wait exotic snacks? Don’t they confiscate those in airport security or something?”

She shrugs. “Probably.”

“I don’t wanna know, do I?”

“Nope! Now get inside, you dork. Also it’s freezing.”

Dipper huffs and points a thumb over his shoulder. “Yeah I know, that’s why I was doing that.”

“Do you not have a heater?”

He shuffles uneasily before moving to grab some of the wood. “Yeah, but it’s a hell of a lot cheaper to just start a fire and I’m not made of money.” He smiles. “Not all of us can mooch off our rich girlfriend like you.”

She slaps him on the chest, hard enough to nearly make him drop the logs and he stumbles trying to balance them.

“I do not _mooch._ My sweaters are doing perfectly well on their own, thank you very much.”

“Riiiight.” He can’t keep the fondness off his face though, it’s true she’s been selling those things all over the world now and it’s not just the sweaters, she has a whole line of quirky clothing and it’s caught like wildfire. People love the idea of fierce self expression in the face of expectation, well some of them anyway, and it’s enough for her to be traveling all the time. Which, that’s why this is so important. She rarely ever comes back nowadays for a long time like this and they’re gonna get some time to hang out, adventure, be the mystery twins again for a little while. He even has a few investigations for later on, if she wants to that is.

He shoves the logs in the fireplace and lights a paper with a match, tossing it in. It catches immediately on the dried wood and stray pine needles and begins to build slowly. He’s still warmed up from the exertion, so he moves away from it. Firewood warms you up twice and all. Mabel watches all of this with an odd look and silence. He grabs a couple bags of candy and chips before throwing himself on the couch. He decides to have the first pick at a movie since Mabel will likely fall asleep with the time zone shifts and shoves on some bad horror film. 

Mabel is wandering around, somewhere probably putting her stuff up and he doesn’t pay her any mind until there’s a dip in the cushions as Mabel sits on the other end. She’s fixing him with an observant look, critical, and he’s about to ask what’s wrong, but thinks better of it, opening the bag and focusing back on the movie.

A half hour or so passes in silence other than the screams on screen. Dipper doesn't even notice Mabel’s started speaking until a chip hits him in the ear. "What? why--"

Mabel throws another chip at him, frowning. “Pay attention dork, I asked when you and Wendy switched bodies?”

He catches the chip in his mouth this time and grins before realizing what she said. “Oh. Uh... we haven’t--” He thinks back to the rug still securely hidden behind a locked door, should still be there... “Why would you think that?”

“Because last I checked my brother wasn’t a lumberjack! What the hell happened to you!?" _Oh that’s what this is about._ She gestures towards him up and down with the nearly empty bag. "I leave you alone for a little bit and come back and you look and act more like one of the Mystery Shack exhibits than my brother!" She gasps and points an accusing finger at him, dropping the chips. "You've become a cryptid Dip Dop!”

Dipper looks down at himself, not sure what she means. “Tons of people wear flannel, Mabel, it’s cold in the winter. What are you talking about?”

She nods, not convinced. She runs a hand across her face. “Mmhmm, okay, so what about the scruffy?”

“I’m not scruffy! I’m just it’s been a long week, I’ve been busy!”

Mabel throws her hands up. “Week and months are not the same thing Dip and that's not a good look!”

“No it hasn’t--” Has it been months? He thinks back trying to remember the last time he shaved, it’s less scruff and more of a beard at this point meaning it’s... yeah she’s probably right. “Alright, fine, but you’re overreacting!”

She stands up and throws her hands in a large "V" to gesture towards the fire. "What about this!?"

He raises an eyebrow. "Uhh it's a fire? Again, it's cold, you said it yourself."

"A fire with wood _you chopped,_ Dipper! That’s not normal! My nerdy brother, chopping wood, starting a fire like he actually knows how! And when's the last time you left the forest, huh? When? Do you have any axe tricks like with throwing it at stuff!?"

He winces answering with a "weeeellll~"

" _Dipper_!?"

"I-- Okay, okay I can see where you're going with that, but I'm not a-- I'm not! I-- Some of the monsters come by when I'm not ready and the axe is the closest weapon!"

“Why don’t you do some weird sciency-magicky thing?”

He rolls his eyes. “Mabel it doesn’t work like that. If some creature is about to eat my face I’m grabbing the damn axe!”

“See!” She slides down onto the floor, dramatically staring into the middle distance. “My brother, a lumberjack, where did I go wrong?”

“I’m not a lumberjack! I just-- Once again, firewood? Cheaper than heat and it’s not a big deal. I don’t like sell wood or anything. I’m not any good at it I just grab a tree that’s already fallen down most of the time. Wendy showed me how to do it without killing myself and it’s yeah it’s not a big deal, I picked it up a while back and it’s easy and I get the smaller ones I can actually carry and the fire is nice it’s comforting nice to read by sometimes.” He’s wringing his hands after the spill, suddenly embarrassed and watches as Mabel sits up.

“Sooo~ you’re a lumberjack, now”

“Did you hear a word I just said--”

“Yep! Loud and clear Dippin’ Dots and guess who I’m making some sweaters for, oh my gosh they’ll be super cute just you wait!”

He sighs and watches her bound out of the room for her sketchbook confused at the whole ordeal. Him? Dipper “noodle arms” Pines, a lumberjack? He snorts. Yeah, right.


End file.
